Lance and Bowerman meet on the LFP

As usual, Mondays are a 60 minute Active Recovery ride for me - tonight I set out on the Lakefront Path (LFP) to get my easy hour in. Keep in mind that AR rides are sloooow. It's taken me quite a while to really get the hang of it, but now I actually enjoy riding under 120bpm at 13-15mph.

I'd ridden down to the Oak Street Chicane and turned around after seeing nasty skies, figuring it's better to be closer to home than not if the skies rip open on me. On my way back north, just barely north of Belmont, I call out 'on yer left' to a guy jogging on the path's yellow line at belmont... let me present:

meets

me: on yer left!

jerk: ...no room for you assholes...

me: (Slowing) What's that?

jerk: Yo, Lance - you guys think you can... (I'm still too far away)

Lance: (I've apparently been renamed) Sorry?

Bowerman (tit for tat. I can rename him to a famous runner): Like, where were you in February, huh?

Lance: Me? On this path, right here. By the way, my name's not Lance.

Bowerman: Yeah, Lance. right here, baby. I run yeeear round. Lance.
(editor's note: editor is not in peak physical condition, but being around a LOT of very physically fit people, I "know it when I see it". He wasn't it. He did, however, point to the ground and himself in a fashion similar to this douche on the right.)

Lance: Um, ok. I'm out here all the time, man. I even have Gore-Tex winter boots.

Bowerman: ...Lance.

Lance: Why all the hate, anyway?

Bowerman: You guys think you're such... (inintelligible aside from another Lance)

Lance: I'm not just some pathlete, dude. I'm pretty serious...

Bowerman: Ha. Pathlete. That's a pretty good one, Lance.

Lance: Ok, whatever, douchebag. Have a good night.

With that, I rode away and finished my Active Recovery ride, though my HR was around 130 because of my frustrating conversation with this idiot.


I'm still not entirely sure why I slowed down, I guess I thought he might have something interesting to say? FAIL. Whatever. I should work on ignoring idiots like this, especially since this kind of heckling will never, ever cease. People don't get cyclists, we're a strange looking bunch, shaved legs and Lycra and the "little seats and weird pedals". Like most people, they ridicule what they don't understand... and they definitely don't understand a wet, snowy lakefront path ride in February when it's 28 degrees outside.

Maybe I pay attention to them because I just want to put them on a bike, especially at the velodrome, and help them understand a bit. I guess I can let Peak Oil put them on a bike. There's enough people at the velodrome already, we don't need a bunch of jerks ruining our fun.

New to Bicycling?

Got this facebook message thread from a friend...

Bicycling

Between You and Someone Else


Someone Else
Today at 12:42pm

Hi

I understand you are quite the cyclist/athlete so I ask you this:How can I get faster and or lose 40 pounds by riding my bike and how do I change spokes and how can I GO FAST ON MY PIECE OF SHIT HYBRID SCHWINN????? Websites? Secret-Crank-sets that give you super speed?? And how bout shorts for my jock? May jock gives up before my legs.....HELP a dillatante(me) become the real deal (you)...

Thanks for any advice and/or insults that you can throw back this way,

Someone Else


You
Today at 12:59pm

I am glad to help...here's my $.02:
Obligatory insult from a racing snob. You have to look PRO to be PRO. Get rid of the shitty WalMart-Chinabike and get your fat ass to a real shop and spend a modest $1500 on a Specialized, LeMond or a Trek. It's worth it. Get a bike fit before you leave the store. It's also worth it. More so even.

A. Ride faster even when it hurts. Greg Lemond said, "It never gets any easier, you just get faster." this morning I rode 9 three minute intervals as hard as I could until I nearly puked. I do it once a week...then tomorrow I go on a suicidally fast "training" ride with a bunch of spandex clad psychos out of an Evanston Bike Shop, Turin...30 miles in about an hour and half. Great race training.

B) While you're riding fast, eat a bit less. Don't diet, but eat out a lot less, cut out the fried foods, and cut out the alcohol during the week and when you're alone. A LOT of excess calories in there. DON'T DIET. this is a lifestyle change, not a get-skinny-quick change. If you diet you won't have enough energy to ride faster. aim for 2 pounds a week. If you plateau, take a look at your routine and change a few things.

C) oh yeah...get more sleep. Like at least 6 solid hours. Alcohol (and caffeine) fuck up your sleep patterns...

As the weight goes down and the power goes up, you get faster. Self-esteem goes way up. Full-disclosure: your current social life will probably suffer...but if you are really enjoying riding and want results to enjoy it even more, you gotta do what you want.

D) shorts. Go to Performance Bike, Get a Grip, Pony Shop or Turin (last two are in Evstn) and get a GOOD pair of shorts, bib shorts. Don't go completely cheap, but you don't need the $200 pair. $50-75 oughta do it. And get chamois creme. Prevents chafing. Don't be afraid to ask how to use it, and don't let any snobbery from the employees get in the way. It comes with the territory of delving into serious cycling. They treat every newbie like shit. It's nothing personal. Just don't let them sell you the farm.

In a nutshell? Ride more, ride with people you like, eat healthier, drink less, a get a pair of bike short...one pair of GOOD bike shorts.

Good luck.