Standing in the Bike Lane

Dearest teenage girl pedestrian,

I'm the guy riding southbound in the Kedzie bike lane, right towards you. You're completely not paying attention, yelling something to someone across the street. Situational awareness? What's that? (psst, they don't sell that at Hollister.)

Whoa, I'm closer now since you're standing still, in the bike lane, and I'm still riding. You step forward. Progress, I like it.

You step back into the bike lane. Shit - make up your mind.

I'm closer now, about 20 feet. You FINALLY look to your left, and you take a step forward, where you freeze like a deer in headlights...that's standing in the middle of the bike lane.

Knowing there's someone behind me, I manage to scream "UP UP!" and dive to the right, hoping my friend follows my lead. Unfortunately, he doesn't have time to react.

You two collide. I don't see it, but I hear the unmistakable sound. Stop the bike, look back to see a pile of humanity and bike. No good.

Everyone's shaken, stirred, and scraped up but no bones are broken. Your dad calls upon deities in various languages, yells at you. Apologizes to us, tells you to apologize to us. You're crying, but manage to get the words out.

Accepted, on one condition: Next time, DON'T STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO TRAFFIC.

Thanks,

Road users.